i have hit rock bottom and its only tuesday

(via sextnoise)


when did we replace the word “said” with “was like”

(via givingblowjobs)

my dance style ranges from white dad at a barbecue to stripper whose rent is due tomorrow

(Source: territorialcreep, via givingblowjobs)


my voice is girly when I talk to strangers but when I’m with friends I turn into morgan freeman

(via sextnoise)


*flirting* so what fruit do you have in your town

(Source: itscalledfashionlookitup, via gnarly)


So my friend came into school one day wearing a dress that had straps and the vice principal came up to her and said “You need to either change or cover your shoulders up because it’ll distract the boys” to which she replied “Well I find boys faces distracting, do they have to cover them up?” and the vice principal said “Maybe you should focus in class more.”

If that doesn’t tell you that things are messed up, then I don’t know what does. 

(via septemberepisode)

when you realize you couldve done something much easier than the way you did it


(Source: wigwams, via thecakeisapotato)


i’m starting to reach that point of scifi inebriation again where the thought that i’m actually confined to a single planet is really weird to me

(Source: simonillyan, via thecakeisapotato)